He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
