Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
