i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
