if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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