you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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