i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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