She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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