have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
