He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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