McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
