Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
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I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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