We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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