I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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