My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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