dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
