i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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