they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
