it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
