Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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