So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
