that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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