he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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