I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
