You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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