after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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