We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
