he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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