When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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