the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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