You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
