you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
