Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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