I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
accomplished twins. life is a go
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Randomize
