it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
