I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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