Where is the hickey?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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