This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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