Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
