D3 body, D1 cock
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Randomize
