You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
