I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Dicks are not precious.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
