I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
They have beer where we have blood.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
