if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
