Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
