you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
