Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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