i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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