Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
