This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
