you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
