i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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