she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'm going to jail i love you
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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