the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize