I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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