You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
