I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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