Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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