I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
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"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize