Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
