I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize