Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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