sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
