drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize