this beer tastes like vomit already
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
