I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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