at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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