YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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