This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
