dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
